It’s been quite a while since I have written anything, and since Raw is cancelled tonight (stay safe, our friends up North!), I thought I’d jot down my feelings about the Rumble.

Pre-Show: New Day vs. Cesaro/Kidd

About what I expected to see.  Some good moves, including that finisher by Kidd.  Cesaro and Kidd are a great tag team, and I hope they actually get to stay as one for a while.  New Day, however…it’s not working.  Nobody cares.  I’m hoping they do a heel turn, or at least an edgier turn.  They could easily do that and still keep the “New Day” moniker.  That would give us another stable, and you can never have too many stables!


Ascension vs. New Age Outlaws

Given that I don’t watch NXT, I know practically nothing about The Ascension other than what I’ve seen since they got called up.  They’ve not been particularly impressive yet, but they also hadn’t faced anything besides some random unknowns.  The Outlaws didn’t really give them any competition, nor did I expect them to.  They were there simply to make Ascension look dominant.  The match was entertaining, and went the way it should.  The Fall of Man, however, might be the weakest-looking finisher since The People’s Elbow.  Get something better, guys.

I’m personally hoping to see The Ascension spend a month or so doing a “Legend Killer” gimmick.   I personally enjoyed Orton’s “Legend Killer” days; I thought it helped boost him.  I think the same could work with The Ascension.  Let them absolutely annihilate some legendary tag teams.  You wouldn’t want to see Ascension vs. APA?  I know I would.

Usos vs. Miz/Mizdow

Damien Mizdow is amazing.  That is all.

Seriously, though…what is he going to do when the inevitable split happens?  He really can’t do the stunt double thing anymore, so they have to harness his comedic talents.  I’m personally hoping for a DX-like persona, where he’s allowed to be condescending to heels.  I think he could do very well at that.  Maybe we’ll even get a new DX-like stable.

Oh, right.  WWE hates stables.  Never mind.

Bellas vs. Paige/Natalya

Yawn.  They continue to waste some talented young ladies.  It wasn’t as bad as some of the matches on tv have been, but still wasn’t great.  I actually didn’t pay attention to the match because I was so bored.


Lesnar vs. Cena vs. Rollins

Wow.  Just….just wow.  THAT was  a great match.  I loved how Lesnar just dominated early, only to let Rollins–and Cena, to a lesser extent–shine later.  I’m not a fan of triple threat matches, but this one was perfectly done.  Hats off to all three men.  Some amazing spots in here.  The double German suplex to Mercury and Noble made me laugh, as did the double AA, although we’ve seen that before.  Brock catching Rollins out of the air and onto his shoulders was incredible.  A great series of near-falls with Cena and Rollins.  For a little while there, I actually though they might have Brock lose.  Great story, and one that kept me guessing the entire time.


The Rumble

Way too much went on here to even think about listing all my thoughts, so here are my highlights (and lowlights).

Kane breaking HBK’s record for most eliminations was great.  I was happy for him.  I feel that he is one of the most underrated stars of the past two decades.  I know that seems hard to believe, but he never quite achieved that status the Undertaker or HHH or Shawn Michaels or others did.  Not sure why; the man is a hell of a worker, and can put on a show.

Seeing Bubba Ray was nice.  I hope he stays and they bring Devon back to feud with the Ascension.  Talk about a brawl!

Wyatt and Rusev looked like dominant monsters in there.  It was great to see.

The usage of Ziggler was a lowlight.  Absolutely the worst part of the Rumble.  (I’ll get to Daniel Bryan in a moment.)  I’d hoped he’d win and go on to face Brock, although I don’t think Ziggler would be a believable enough challenge for Brock.

Daniel Bryan.  Oh, the outrage.  Oh, the scorn.  Oh, the butthurt.  Personally, I was fine with it.  He shouldn’t have won.  Think about it: the man’s been out for months with a career-threatening injury.  After watching Lesnar toss Rollins onto his shoulder and neck a few times, I found myself thinking, “No way would I put Bryan in there with him.  Brock would hurt him.”  No, you don’t want to do that.  We all know Bryan will be back on top sooner or later, so chill out, relax, and stop whining.

When he was tossed out, the entire show went to crap.  Not because it was bad, but because the crowd made it bad for me.  They sucked all life and energy out of that match with their endless booing.  The Rumble was pretty weak overall, but they could have made it better.  Instead, they chose to sit and pout.

And can we all briefly acknowledge that threatening to cancel your WWE Network subscription because you don’t like the ending of a show is tantamount to threatening to cancel your television service because “Game of Thrones” killed off your favorite character?  People, it’s a SHOW.  It’s FICTION.  Sit back and let things unfold.  You might wind up with an even better story.  You know, like we did last year, when Bryan overcame the odds and won the belt at Wrestlemania.

I was sort of surprised by the boos for Reigns and even the Rock.  Seriously….just stop.  You’re giving all wrestling fans a bad name by acting like little brats who can’t separate fiction from reality.

Overall, it was a decent show, but with the exception of the World Title Match, nothing you wouldn’t see on Raw.  The commentary, as usual, was terrible, with the exception of JBL.  He’s about the only reason I keep the volume turned on when I watch Raw.  I absolutely love the man; he’s the modern version of Jesse Ventura.  Sure, he supports the Authority, but he also took out the Ascension because he thought they were being disrespectful.  He walks that line between heel and face perfectly, and makes the commentary almost tolerable.  As much as I love Jerry Lawler, he needs to retire.  It’s time.  And for crying out loud, can we please get somebody better than Michael Cole?  The guy tries his best, but he might give the worst play-by-play I’ve ever heard.

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