To Marry a Monster

Hey there everyone! I am finally writing some posts again that aren’t health related and this first one is a bit of a doozy. I am starting to read a new Manga called Monster Musume Everyday Life with Monster Girls and so far it has been an interesting little Manga and I’ve only read the first two books so far! For those of you who do not know about this book it’s your typical Harem Storyline manga where someone who is either against the idea or is perhaps an unwilling participant in the idea ends up with several lovely young ladies vying for his attention. One other manga/anime like that is Rosario + Vampire.

In the case of Monster Musume there is a new cultural exchange between the human world and the liminal race which are “monsters” so they are using humans as host families for exchange students basically. The rules for such are very strict however as in you must always be with your host student if out of the house, you can not harm your host student nor vice versa and you can not have sex with your host student. Of course in this book you have a very sweet nice kid who mistakenly gets used as a host family for a sweet Lamia who wants him to be her first, and to make matters worse the government woman who mistakenly gave him the first monster girl keeps sending more and more of them to his house.

As each monster girl gets to his house, they each end up falling for him for various reason and begin fighting over him, especially when at the end of the first book Agent Smith tells him that she wants him to help further interspecies relationships by marrying one of the girls. This really got me thinking if I was in this kids place who would I pick to marry and why? So out of the four main girls that have been introduced in the first two books I’ll give you my reasons why I would or wouldn’t marry each and then my final listing of which falls where as to who I think is more marriageable. Now I am leaving out the mermaid because I don’t know much about her from the second book but I will be adding in Suu the slime because even though she is an illegal monster in the house she is still a girl monster in the house.

The first Monster Girl introduced is Miia the Lamia who is half humanoid and half snake. In my mind from a purely physical standpoint Miia has a nice leg up on the other girls just because she is a redhead and has a pretty good body to go with it. Her breasts are big but not so oversized as to be off putting. Also for some reason I like the idea of the lower snake part, the ability for a nice full body hug from her just sounds comfortable to me as long as she doesn’t get carried away with her squeezing. You do find out that she likes to cuddle close for warmth in the morning within the first few pages of the first book, which is perfectly fine with me. Now intelligence wise she isn’t the smartest but then again as you’ll hear again and again none of these monsters really are so far. As one of my friends said to me Miia tends to act like the majorly clingy girlfriend and that turned my friend off to Miia, however for me after having two failed marriages where my wives went and gave me the cold shoulder and were standoffish a lot of the time I don’t mind the clinginess in someone who cares about me. So for me the clingy girlfriend stereotype with her really isn’t a problem.

Next in the first book we got introduced to Papi the Harpy. As you can see in her pic Papi looks a little young to be marrying, but with many Manga tropes, Papi is no where near as young as she looks. She is as old as any of the other monsters and considering that so far they have not given any ages for these monsters that means she could be anywhere from her mid-twenties to a hundred years old and your guess would be as good as mine. Due to this age thing, her body style is not a turnoff for me. While I do like fluffier girls in real life I am also able to appreciate the beauty in a small youthful looking frame such as Papi. Two things that do turn me off about her however is the fact that she is literally a bird brain and is not very intelligent at all. In fact in some ways she reminds me of a feathered version of Dory from finding Nemo but that might be an insult to Dory so I hesitate to say it. The second major downside to her is the fact that her hands are part of her wings so she doesn’t really have real hands. This may not seem like much of a problem but when you really look at it you have to remember that going into a relationship like this means that you will have to be her hands and I am not sure I would be able to go into a relationship with someone that reliant on me. Looks wise and such I don’t mind it but in my mind I don’t know if I would be able to be enough of a caregiver for someone like that. I would certainly try my hardest but I’m not sure I could keep up with it and one thing I never want to do in real life is to not be able to adequately take care of my loved ones. So I am trying to look at this monster marrying thing as if it were real so the no real hand thing would be a major hit mainly because as I said I don’t know if I would be able to take care of her enough in our world.

The third monster girl we run into in the first book is Centorea the Centaur. She is a lovely young monster that is half horse and half human like the Centaurs of myth. While some people may see her HUGE breasts as a plus in my book she is actually too big in front and it becomes a turnoff for me. If breasts get in the way of a good hug then they’re too big in my eyes. Also and this is from a purely physical standpoint still is if I were to marry a centaur how does one have sex with her. Now one would assume from behind like a horse would do it, however some of the drawings of her suggest the genitals could be upfront at the bottom of her torso as she seems to be attached to the horse part at her hips. Now the drawings can be misleading but still I don’t see an easy or pleasant way of consummating such a marriage and to me that would be a heck of a turnoff. Finding fun positions for pleasure I’m all for but finding odd positions because there’s no way else just doesn’t do it for me. Intellectually she does seem to be the smartest of the various monsters living in this house which is a good thing; however, she also seems to speak in horse and tack puns and that in itself would drive me crazy, and not in a good way.

Last on our list and introduced in book two is Suu the Slime. Suu started out attacking them seeking out water but then ended up imitating them and trying to communicate in her own way. Suu started out as a formless blob but it turns out she is not too bad of a shape shifter having taken on a lovely voluptuous form. She seems to be able to take the form of puddle or woman with just a thought. In her feminine form she has either a slim youthful body similar to Papi or if she absorbs enough water she starts to have some better curves like Miia and Centorea. I love the idea of a shapechanger from a purely physical standpoint. Keep things interesting by changing the shape of things every so often could be fun. A downside to her being a slime though is she has no solidness to her so if you hug her you have the possibility of dropping through her or worse being absorbed into her and drowning. Intelligence wise she doesn’t seem to have anything under the hood, every so often she has mimicked Papi but that doesn’t take much in the smarts category to do.

Taking all of this into consideration I am thinking the order for marriage for me would be

1- Miia
2- Centorea
3- Papi
4- Suu

For fans of this manga I would love to hear from you as to which of these four lovely monster girls you would pick and why?

Photo Courtesy of:

Miia: aminoapps.com

Papi: reddit.com

Centorea: reddit.com

Suu: reddit.com